Put a smile on your face

I was standing in my classroom this week waiting for the next group to arrive, a mere ten-second pause in the day. I was tired and in a slightly cranky mood as one of my year 9 pupils had really annoyed me by lying to my face. A thought occurred to me. I could stay fuming or I could smile.

So I grinned the biggest, most ridiculous grin I could muster, pushing up all my facial muscles, and widening my eyes. If anyone had been looking through the window they probably would have called for some help from the school nurse; but in those few seconds the tension I had felt seeped out and I walked out to greet my next class happy and smiling (normally).

Evidence has shown that having feel-good experiences every day is beneficial for us, both mentally and physically. And they can be ones you create for yourself, even force on yourself as I did this week. That grotesque grin turned my mood around and my approach to my next class and those after gave me a week's worth of happiness points. Points in the bank to use up when things take a tumble.

I also use this approach when doing something physically tough. Telling myself "This is brilliant!" as I run into gale-like winds or smiling strangely at dog walkers as I battle a hill make the whole experience that much better, easier... and happier.

Another thing to ease rampant minds and get a lot of perspective in a little time is having some powerful thoughts. These, like moments of joy and happiness can be built up. They work for me by distracting me to greater, more wondrous or perplexing things. They take my mind away from the (often) petty now that is preoccupying me to something my mind can't quite grasp, so that it sits and ponders in awe. They are things I have read and remembered for this very reason: the how, the why, the wow, Wow, WOW.

I'll share a few of the types of thoughts I wonder about, but before I do I am reminded of a line from my favourite Shakespeare play, Othello. Even if you've lost, you still have your smile.

"The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief."

Some of my Helpfully Distracting Thoughts

• Every single one of those snowflakes falling outside is different, like a trillion fingerprints flying through the sky.
• Forty years ago there was over 70,000 elephants in the Central African Republic. Now there are just 200 individual survivors.
• The sun is "middle-aged" at 4 and half billion years old.
• Sitting at the ruins of Winaywayna along the Inca Trail was one of the most peaceful and spiritual moments in my life.
• Most of the Kyrgyz nomads of the Wakan region in Afghanistan have never and will never see a tree.

Marriage

I sit in the darkness, typing, near midnight. The Argentines sleep around me. Do they ponder, as I ponder, the how, the how, the how?

How can two people truly spend their lives together and still love each other until death do us part? Are we really animals of lifelong monogamy, or as usual are we being blinded into these things? In the green corner we have the condors, squawking away about the bliss of mating for life. Sharing a nest, a view, the upbringing of chicks, is unique and wonderful, they claim. Together you make some thing, grow something and make it fly, they say. It's special. And there's always someone there, warming the nest for when you return.

It's interesting that many animals that do mate for life are birds. I mean, they have more freedom than most, being able to fly away whenever they want and not come back. And yet they do.

In the red corner we have the elephants. No one hardly ever messes with them (except those human bastards) and they do OK. They get it done, with hard work and patience. Their time spent in pairs is sporadic, yet with purpose. I applaud that. It reminds of being at university.

With two weeks to go until 'I do' why am I dreaming about all my ex crushes, boyfriends, trysts and lovers? During the night my mind is somehow dealing with my upcoming nuptials in a way that during the day doesn't even occur to me. How many lines must be drawn? People I haven't even thought about for years pop up and must be buried in the sand. That's fine, I don't want to build a castle for them. But the more this goes on, the closer it gets, the more every breath with the word marriage strikes me across the chest and my heart stops beating a second longer.

It stops beating because I love him, adore him, am in love with him. It stops beating because I've never done anything so enormous with anyone else. It stops beating because this is the most serious thing I'm ever going to do. It stops beating because there was me and him and now, always, there will be us.

And then I breathe again. Another second passes and I am still me. And I can still fly.

So I do.