Tuesday, 6 August 2013

Flash fiction - 15 days to go

This week over at Trifecta, the word is WEAK and its third definition is:

Weak (adjective): Not factually grounded or logically presented.

I was in the middle of writing something, but then overnight my thoughts took a different course and ended up here. Surprisingly for me. Comments and advice welcome! Click on the icon below to read more entries.

15 days to go

I’m moderating tonight. It’s a surprise, but the guy from CNN’s wife is in labour with twins and was going to divorce him if he did this. I thought they might get some other hotshot to do it, but they chose little old me. Janice keeps texting me. She’s even made popcorn and that idiot neighbour with the big tits is coming over to watch the debate. Like she has a clue. She may have married that senator, but he died. Bet she doesn’t even know which party she’s supposed to vote for. 

It’s not the cameras. It’s not the audience. It’s those two asses I’m worried about. I can’t believe that half this country actually wants one of these loons to run it. And the rest are behind the other cheeseball. I know I’m going to have to resist the urge to knock their heads together.

The red corner: Big, Bad, Well-Oiled and Rich, it’s Red Dickk from Texas! (With two Ks? What is that about? All the better to kick you poor people with?)

The blue corner: Smarmy, Intellectual, Well-Read and Driven, it’s Blue Karl from Vermont! (Karl with a K? You know what his Mamma was thinking about with that one.)

“I believe education is key.”

“It’s what we need for a brighter future.”

“We can make that difference. Can you?”

“We got to be resourceful.”

“That’s weak and you know it. We’ve promised something tangible.”

“History is on our side.”

They keep going, verbally hitting each other with more of the ridiculous and meaningless. I keep them on track. Red Dickk sweats and repeats himself. Blue Karl rolls his eyes and laughs to himself like he knows some secret plan. I wish I had an ejector seat. 

At least everyone back home can turn off. I find out the next day that, incredibly, 50 million people stayed with them, with us; and I won’t be doing the next one.

I should have used my moment more wisely. 






19 comments:

  1. After a while you wonder how everyone doesn't see how hollow and off-the-shelf those phrases are. Good take on the prompt.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I find the debates interesting for the most part. It's always fun when one or both of the debaters gets called out on a falsehood.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's kind of a new thing in the UK. I think they tried it in Britain for the last election, but it was probably in some old school gym and had none of the pazazz about it you get over the pond. And there definitely wasn't 50 million tuned in!

      Delete
  3. For several elections, I've wanted to vote for "none of the above". I hadn't thought about how a debate moderator might feel about the candidates...nice take!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Janna!
      I know I'd find it difficult to keep my mouth shut when I thought they were talking ****!

      Delete
  4. Love the narrator's snipes and tone. The pacing and quips, all work. Enjoyed.

    Ack. Don't mind moderation but word verification is problematic. Hate typing and then losing a comment because I entered the code wrong. Please know the visually impaired, moi, have trouble with this. I enjoy your work which is why I'm sharing the concern. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks LaTonya. I always had the sense that these moderators are as interested as those debating, but I imagine that's not actually always the case. It's a job, right?
      Regarding the code... believe me, I didn't even know you had to do that. I guess those settings were there since I started the blog and I never thought to check. For you, dear reader, I have amended!

      Delete
  5. Good take on the word. We are so polarized here in the U.S. it seems pointless to watch the debates. There's only one side I could vote for no matter how weak they might be. It's all about values. Nice work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the read, Steph. I loved your piece too, some great imagery. Hoping my comment posted and didn't get lost in cyberspace.

      Delete
  6. I have to double ditto what LaTonya said about the snipes and tone--a very distinct voice you've created hear, one that's entertaining to read. I'm intrigued by that last line, wondering where the moderator's thoughts are going. What would have been a wiser use of the moment? Love how you've left that up to the readers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your kind words, Kallan Annie! I guess a platform with 50 million people listening is a tempting prospect...

      Delete
  7. Loved the voice and pacing of this. Much more entertaining than watching an actual debate! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Ivy! Hahaha, I would hope so!

      Delete
  8. LOL. I love "I wish I had an ejector seat."

    ReplyDelete
  9. I thought the last line was really interesting. It made me wonder what she would have done differently.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hahaha I wish I had an ejector seat.
    That is such a perfect, and perfectly placed, sentence!
    The last line is ominous.
    Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I often feel that way about politics. Two sides, both of them loaded with idiots. Our elections last year were a big joke. Some people voted for the lesser evil. Some people went for change for the sake of change. Some decided in the booth.
    This is a great portrayal of what it really feels like for some people. And I really do wonder what it's like for the poor moderators of debates. At least your country has debates. The silly one I live in just has rallies (read: parties) and newspaper wars. Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sometimes democracy doesn't feel like democracy. More like a funny farm.
    This is great, and better than any dull debate. Thank you for linking up!

    ReplyDelete

Share a word or two... it's what life is all about.